May 2012
My girlfriend called me on the phone and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home."
I went over, nobody was home.
if you’re unicorn or cat, you’re gonna love this blog.
- Teacher: Schools almost over
- Teacher: and this is crazy
- Teacher: but here's three projects
- Teacher: due by friday
- how my mother works
- me: mom i got all A's
- mom:
- me: mom i cleaned the whole house
- mom:
- me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
- mom:
- mom: is this your cup on the table?
- me: yes
- mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
- <p> That was my mom all right.</p>
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
via sodamnrelatable
- me in literally every life situation: this reminds me of a song
Play
1:10
Play
3:43
That awkward moment when two people are making out in front of you.
via sodamnrelatable
That awkward moment when you're late to class and everyone looks at you like:
Assholes: You should hate yourself because you’re fat and that’s ugly.
Fat People: I think I look marvelous.
Assholes: Well, you should hate yourself because being fat isn’t healthy.
Fat People: Why is my health your problem?
Assholes: Your being fat gives a bad example to my kids who then will think it’s OK to be fat and unhealthy.
Fat People: Why are your kids my problem?
Assholes: Why won’t you hate yourself?
Fat People: Because then I’d be just like you.
